Wanna get a little un ruly Get it fired up in a hurry Wanna get dirrty|
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|Friday, September 2nd, 2005|
|out of lock down! and my mood is cold becausethereisawickedventblowingonme. wicked is boston slang.
so i am not locking my journal down, locking it down "EJ style" as Lisa once referred to the friends lock. yes, i am in boston! no, i am not at school yet. yes, i just ate a hot dog. no, it was not the jumbo hot dog i had planned on eating...the hotel cafe ran out ;(. roseanne is on tv and there was a guy checking me out earlier. he was not that attractive. those are both bad things. i am on my laptop! this is a good thing. the hotel has wireless! also good! eww! so much plaid on roseanne! it hurts my eyes. ok, so anyways, the car ride was fricken longgg and ohhh my fricken goshhhh i just saw a fricken mouse run across the fricken hotel floor! what the hell! eww! mice! eww! sick.infested.hotel. anyways, i just wanted to post something for people who may accidentally stumble across my livejournal and leave fun comments (ahem,kevinwilson!) perhaps, if you are lucky, i will inform you of my crazy times in boston at a later date. and grostky bee-yotches, an update will come soon! after i have moved in, probablemente!
p.s. florence henderson is on roseanne! Current Mood: cold
|Sunday, September 5th, 2004|
|I could just kick myself
I told myself that my next entry would be something happy and enjoyable to all who read. And i have spent some time away, due mostly to the fact that I have no time to write in livejournal (sadly, it is not a priority anymore); but also because I have had no inspiration to write about the subject that I intend to write about...yes, you know what it is...and you have all missed it. Boys.
with that introduction, let me begin.
well, today is sunday as you all know. sunday...the day where i go to church...the day where i see...church boy (!). "What?!" you say. "I thought Erica told me that she thought church boy went to college!!" no my children, he was there today. i was in the back of the church...i saw his family walk in. but i figured, oh well he is away so he won't be there. and to my surprise! his beatiful, sexy body (and face) walk through that door, rays of light shining through... oh, the contour of his sweet, sexy body against that stained glass window. haha. well he looked at me straight in the eye with a sexy glare and because of my sheer stupidity and shock...we hooked eyes for a second and then I looked towards the ground. hence, the title of this entry...i could have kicked myself. just think...what if i had said hi and smiled. it could have been the start of a beautiful relationship. but no, i missed my one opportunity. he could be gone until the next holiday. (if he is a college boy now) and what am i supposed to do until then?!?! maybe God will help me out with a lil' divine intervention...you know, hook us up. or at least my mom will. would it be so bad if i had my mom do the dirty work for me? hmm...like talk to his mom and do a little matchmaking. she suggested, and I'm thinking about taking up the offer...
Anyways, this is just my weekly obsession. I have daily ones too.
I have found some new eye candy. His name...I will not mention. although everyone that is reading this already knows who it is because i can't keep my big, fat mouth shut. well, i think he is sexy. sexy and tan. tan sexiness with a hot body. tan sexiness with hot body and shaggy brown hair. ahh! i have to stop. i will no longer describe him. so what if he is not the brightest kid on the block? and i mean, personalities are overrated? right? haha. i think, maybe my obsession would just end if i could see him with his shirt off. and then maybe touch his chest. or caress his body. and maybe just a prolonged, passionate hug...or maybe a night of HOT, StEAMY...ahh!, ok. again...enough of that. juuuust jokinnnnng....maybe.
moving on to a different subject. the football game friday was soo much fun. towards the end, some soccer boys behind me kept accidentally smacking my butt. i didn't really mind it that much.
reminder!: homecoming has been moved back two weeks. this gives me more time to find a date...or hook up with a particular sexy boy that i would like to be my date. hmm... i've been thinking about posting a sign on my locker. "homecoming date wanted: sexy, likes to dance and have fun. gives good hugs, straightfoward and will get a lil frea-kay after the dance. Call 759-6068 for details." think i should??! haha...i'm serious, you know.
ok well that just about does it for now. feel free to comment. thankyouloveyoubye! Current Mood: flirty
|Wednesday, August 11th, 2004|
|shortpost. reply! you better comment! you better comment or ill beat you!
i've taken a break from writing in here but there is one thing i miss-the comments.
i've been thinking about how its so ironic that all the time that i wanted big changes and unexpected things to happen...huge changes have been subtly, gradually occuring.
so im going to ask you TWO questions...
1. what hour lunch do you have? (cuz, yeah i want to know that)
2. what are some of your predictions for this coming year?? they can be anything! anything, i tell you! just leave a comment!!!
leave a comment, damnit!! Current Mood: lazy
|Monday, July 26th, 2004|
|i love him. i really, reallllllly do.
that all boys
were like Noah.
and that thing he did with his jaw,
and the way he smiled,
mmm. mmm. mmm.
noahhhhhhhhhhh, i loooooooooove you. Current Mood: hopeful
|Tuesday, July 20th, 2004|
|yay for last night! i <3 the tire swing. loveit!
last night was just 100 percent unadulterated fun. i just went back to maggie's and brandy's journal entries and realized this. i don't think i've really had a good time like that all summer. and im not complaining. pure and simple fun- it can sometimes be hard to come by.
i think i have to learn to be satisfied with what i have. or maybe not so much learn to do that, but follow that idea more closely. too many times i find myself wishing for this and hoping for that. no matter how boring or unfulfilling i think my life can be sometimes- i am having a damn good time whether i realize it or not. i think i might just be relying on somethings to make me happy and in reality these things aren't going to make me happy because first of all i might never be satisfied with them and second they aren't really that important after all.
so yeah. last night was fun. it was just what i needed, i think. i think i was in a rut but now i am so ready to get out. so if you're a negative person...please, stay the hell away from me. sometimes i can be so easily influenced by you. i have goals that i want to acheive and i am going to acheive them. i am going to figure things out. i am going to have low expectations. and im going to make the most of the rest of the summer, damnit.( woo! *cheers for erica*) Current Mood: cheesily inspired
|Tuesday, July 13th, 2004|
i haven't updated in a while. hmm, i don't really care. my body is dead from all the running i've been doing. i'm tired all the fricken time. and lately i've just been getting annoyed a lot. with everything. probably because i am tired. then i act mean and i feel bad. ehh, what am i going to do about it.
summer is going by really fast it seems like. i feel like there is so much more to do before it's over, and before the hellish cross country season starts. but at the same time, i don't really care. im impatient, and i just want to get on with things. its not like anything spectacular is happening that i want to cherish these moments forever.
yeah i just got interrupted and i don't feel like writing anymore. i know im being cynical and that really annoys me. yeah...i'm just tired. i'm going to go sleep. Current Mood: annoyed
|Wednesday, June 30th, 2004|
|What it all comes down to my friends, yeah, is that i haven't got it all figured out just yet
i don't really know what i want to say yet...hold on, im going to go get another peanut butter granola bar...ok im back. well i have to run again in another hour and a half. thats all i fricken do all the fricken time. its really starting to drain my energy. i've gotten to the point where im completely dead after 9 pm. i come home, pass out for a couple hours, and by the time my legs start to be able to move again, i have to go run at sunset hellls. anyways, cross country hasn't officially started yet so it hasn't completely robbed me of my social life...
my birfday was yesterday as you all know. thanks to all who wished me happy birthday and gave me the best presents evaa!!! i loooooove you! haha. yeah but it was wierd. it never feels like my birthday anymore. on one hand i feel like its supposed to be my special,spectacular day;but nothing was really unusual except for a constant string of 'happy birthdays,'( some sincere, some i think were just said out of courtesy) and a couple presents. i didn't really do much except for lay around all day like every other day. i didn't even cut the cake with my family. and the four day celebration really de-emphasizes the whole big thing about your actual birthday being a special day, so that was kind of bad. i'm just complaining though. i did enjoy it, nonetheless. mathew's rendition of little drummer boy is possibly one of the funniest things i have ever seen in my whole life. i mean, my face was disgustingly contorting from the painfully hard laughter. i don't think i've laughed that hard since i accidently, unknowingly screamed out "ROCKING ROBIN" at the top of my lungs when my sister was chasing me. (i'll tell you the story if you want) so that was great. haha. so now im 17! woo! yeah! finalllllyyyy!!!
in other news i made a summer/life goals list. it was good for me. lately ive been too lazy to do anything, even simply to think. thats why i've been avoiding livejournal. its easier to do nothing than confront your problems and figure out why everything has been so blah lately.(although i don't know if livejournal is exactly the right place to do that). well maybe there really isn't an answer. but its also easier not to think about it. getting back to the point, its amazing how writing some words down on a piece of paper can put things in perspective... i'm not really determined to accomplish the list right now, but im determined to be determined to accomplish it. ha. get that?!?
well not much else to say. same old, same old. fun times, not so fun times. (but mostly fun times recently!)annd,yeahh. my boobs are getting smaller by the minute. by the end of the summer, i will have but two, small, pitiful...you get the picture. damn you cross country!!! you're shrinking my boobs!
june is almost over, sadly. you did not live up to my expectations, june. (yes, i know i said i didn't have expectations, but in the back of my mind, i did.) but i guess its alright... july better be damn good though! and tonight, is a night for lasts. last night of june. last night of erica's (thats me) four day birthday celebration. so now that i have rambled on for-freakin-ever, i will leave. but hey you know what i just thought about... we'll be in the HOT TUB (!) and you guys can see my ever-shrinking boobs. i think we should take a picture of them now, and a picture of them at the end of the summer. (with my bathing suit on) (this is one of those things where you keep on talking and it keeps on getting worse) (so ill just finish up) and maaaaaaaaaan, you won't belieeeeve your eyes!!! the changes! the changes!!! Current Mood: fine, fine ,fine
|Monday, June 21st, 2004|
|Excitement, babaaay yeahhh. My Birfdays Comin Upppppp
yay!!!!! this is a happy entry!
well kind of. first of all i want to tell everyone that i have cramps like a cuh-razy mofo. ahh the pain and suffering of being a woman. so even though i may sound excited, just imagine me sitting here, barely able to move because im in extreme pain. haha. ok, now that you have that mental picture...
so i was just watching dr. phil. he was talking about kids who are too materialistic. dr. phil said..."bling bling." i know, can you believe that...with his twangy doctor voice.
ok so let me get to the point. my birthday is in 8 days. 8days!!!!! yes, and you know what i was thinking...we are given an age to associate ourselves with every year and we have to live with that age for like 365 days right? and how many days do we celebrate that. one. one day. well damnit, i want more time to celebrate myself. so this year...well i was going to have a week long celebration but i think my schedule only allows me to have four days of par-taying. so yeah, thas right. that is exactly what im doing. so keep your schedules open because huuures the plans....
Sunday June 27th- see "The Notebook" for my birthday
Monday June 28th- BEAAACH PARTAAY of course with KRISTEN!!!!!! annnnnnd everyones invited. what do you say kristen, i think it should start at 4 and go laaaaate into the night...
Tuesday June 29th- well this day is my actual birthday so i was thinking that maybe we could go out to lunch or dinner or something and watch movies at someones house or something like that. plus....my momma might let me get a massage from somewhere so if anyone wants to joiiiin meeeeee...
Wednesday June 30th- i think laura already said this or maybe im just inviting myself, but.... HOT TUB PARTAY??? Woooo. hope so, babaaaay.
ok, so those are my plans. and fooos, you know if you be reading this you invited to allll of it. because yes, i like to celebrate myself, i deserve it. and if anyone wants to give me a present, go ahead, don't be shy. but you know what i prefer...just a little manmeat. Current Mood: excited
|Sunday, June 20th, 2004|
first of all, i must comment that i love my new icon. its sexilicious babay.
i'm so moody. i can be completely depressed one day and then pretty much in love with life two days later. i guess thats how it usually goes though. yes, so that's how this week has been. thursday...well thursday was just a little piece of hell. but seriously, if a part of being in hell consisted of being bored to death, i think thats what it would feel like. first i watched a movie which i was only partly interested in.(which was bad because i had been anticipating watching this movie for weeks) then i talked to people, well actually maybe two people, on im (which is also depressing-talking on im for a long time) about how bored i was. then i took another shower because i was bored. then i went to my dad's office to help him work on a trial when in actuality all i did was carry a stupid bag into the office and then stared at the floor for an hour and a half. hmm....yeah...but things got better-obviously, or my journal mood thing wouldn't say "content." alright, i'm rambling. i shouldn't try to write when im tired.
so maybe i'm just wondering why these past couple days have gotten better. it's not like i'm going out and getting the thrill of my life every night...or at least the big burst of excitement that i have so desperately been praying for... ok well i've been sitting here for about five minutes trying to figure this out. i can't really think. i wish i remember the things i was thinking in the car ride on the way home... maybe its that im still adjusting to how things are right now. every summer changes. if you look back at last summer, just think of how different things were. maybe they were good, maybe they were bad. but isn't it just a little hard to get used to new surroundings or situations? maybe im just feeling that lost sense of familiarity with people... or even worse, maybe we're all just drifting apart already. eh. i'm not making sense. i don't know. but i know that its not bad. its sad at times. but its normal. and i'm having fun right now and i like where im headed. i think thats what these past couple days have been like. im headed in a new direction- which can be uncertain at times, and a little scary, but also fresh and new, fun and exciting. well, maybe i'll write back later when i can make coherant thoughts. ha. this was supposed to be a happy entry, but it just turned kind of...blah. Current Mood: content
|Monday, June 14th, 2004|
|ah. don't read if you don't want to be depressed.
wow i haven't posted in two weeks. damn slow internet.
damnit. i hate being so fricken bored all the time. sorry, i feel bad when my entries are all depressing. mostly bad for myself, but bad for the people that read it too.
i don't really feel like writing much right now, but i guess i don't really feel like doing anything most of time. its not like when i go out and do stuff that im not having fun, i am. but when i get home and theres nothing to do...
i tired of not being satisfied with my situation. i'm tired of thinking that i have to write inspiring, eloquent entries in this thing.
i'm tired of complaining.
the only thing i really want to do right now is sleep. and dream. i'll wake up when things have changed some more. and maybe i'll go for a drive. but i don't want to think. and i don't really want to talk to anyone. i guess i just want to be alone, for a while. i just want to lay alone, and be idle, and useless.
|Wednesday, May 26th, 2004|
ohhh im happy right now. but actually, after finishing the entry, I changed the mood to weird...you'llseewhy. injustasecond.ahahah.
first, came the simple fact that today was one of the last days of school before summer. (holy shizat, its about damn time!)
second, i love that song by that 13 year old girl but its all 'you go, girl' and i love it. and i just heard the song. and i found out the lyrics finally, brandy!
third, i wrote a note to lisa today about how much fun i'm going to have in the summer and everything i want to do. ITS GOING TO BE FRICKEN FUUUUN MANNNN!!!!! yeah and on the top of the note i wrote her a poem and it went like this
"Summer lovin...better have me a blast
or else I will bust a cap on someones a$$"
(blast and ass are near rhymes)
fourth, i saw lisa and brandy riding their bikes and we got ice cream. i love ice cream. and i love lisa and brandy. so that was also fun.
so i guess there was four reasons.
*good grade on my english oral.
*fun times in math class with yeltor and the noisiest girls eva.
*kingsy is letting us use all notes/book/papers for our final
*last math ass(ignment)
*me and brandy singing that song alll fricken day
so theres my list of all things that made me happy today. i know you wanted to see it, damnit!..ummm bee-yotch. BIAAAA BIAAAAAAAA (have you heard that song? its by mah man, Luda...Ludacris for the rest of yall) shizat dizamn fricken freakin frickety frack fook bizatch fo shizzle mah nizzle, wit little bow wizzle. missy wit the preacha's son...ok! Ok! i toooooooooollllld ya...w y to the clef boy i keep it realer than the titties on mah chest milk does yo body good comeon take a sip like (slurrp slurrp slurrp) it taste good, don' it?
haha that was fun. i went through all my phrases. and the missy song...missy eliot. oooo i forgot a phrase.
ok , gotta go study for my damnnnsexy finals so that i can get to bed early and go to damnsexy morning practice!!!!! Current Mood: weird
|Monday, May 24th, 2004|
yeah i am procrastinating...and i couldn't resist a good ol survey. yeah babay. aiight, here i go
-- Name: Erica Johnson
--Birthplace: Chicago, IL (annnd lived there 10 years...yes, i know...im ghetto)
-- Current Location: Valparaiso, IN
-- Eye Color: i always say hazel but sometimes they change;they're cool like that
-- Hair Color: brunette
-- Height: 5'3 and 3/4
-- Righty or Lefty: Rightay
-- Your heritage: 50% PUERTO RICAN, and a bunch of other stuff liiiiike....Norweeeegian, umm Irish, "Pennsylvania Dutch," like 5% American Indian haha, umm...much more.
-- Your weakness: ok, i have a thing for subtly smart boys (sooooo sexxxxy), plus a tan sexy body wouldn't hurt...annnnd nice smile with nice white teeth...oh wait...this wasn't talking only about boys was it???
-- Your fears: yeah probably failure, not meeting my standards of myself. oh, also the dark. haha
-- Your perfect pizza: cheese is good, but you know ill have whatever you want ;)
--Goal you'd like to achieve: hmm...SURVIVE THE REST OF THE SCHOOL YEAR!!!! seriously, 10 days is just waaay to much.
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM:"haha," sexxxxay, sexxxy boys, damnsexxxxy
-- Your thoughts first waking up: shizat i have to pack my bag...for FREAKIN MORNING PRACTICE!!!!!
-- Your best physical feature: i'm just too sexy, i can't decide.
-- Your bedtime: hmm depends how tired i am. one time i fell asleep at 5 and didn't wake up until 5 the next morning. ha! yeah!...umm but usually 10:30
-- Pepsi or Coke: Coke!
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Well id have to say that Mc Donalds has come out with some superb additions to their menu...ie the salads, the fruit and yogurt parfaaaait!!! ahhh, the madness!
-- Single or group dates: hmm, ill take whatever i can get!!! as long as its with a sexy boy!
-- Adidas or Nike: well im gonna stick with adidas for now
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: hOT tea
-- Chocolate or vanilla: i think i actually like vanilla better
-- Cappuccino or coffee: french vanilla cappucino all the way!
-- Smoke: no thank you.
-- Cuss: umm to myself sometimes. usually i think of good substitues like bee-yotch or shizat. but i like damn and hell.-- Sing: allllll the time
-- Take a shower every day: twice a day actually!-- Have a crush(es): yes, im manhungry after all.
-- Do you think you've been in love: umm i don't think so
-- Want to go to college: Hell yeahhh.
-- Like high school: its alright, it has its moments.
-- Want to get married: yes, i think. to my sexy husband.
-- Believe in yourself: for the most part i think. i underestimate myself sometimes though.
-- Get motion sickness: Nope
-- Think you're attractive: not when im having my period. sometimes i get these days where theres nothing i can do to get myself to look better. my head just seems fat and ugly. haha funny, but true
-- Think you're a health freak: not really, i eat like a pig
-- Get along with your parents: most of the time, i was just recently grounded
-- Like thunderstorms: LOVE THEM WITH A PASSIONNN-- Play an instrument: used to play the cello for like a year and the piano for 4 or 5 years
In the past month . . .
-- Drank alcohol: noo.
-- Smoked: nope.
-- Done a drug: hell no
-- Had sex: awww no helll no.
-- Made out: sadly no.
-- Gone on a date: very sadly, no.
-- Gone to the mall: No! my mom never buys me any clothes!!!!
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: nope
-- Eaten sushi: no, but i did at Emily's in OREGON!
-- Been on stage: haha does the spanish play count
-- Been dumped: no,and anyways if anyones gonna do the dumping...itwillbeme!
-- Gone skating: no.
-- Made homemade cookies: haha no
-- Gone skinny dipping: no, well maybe...no.
-- Dyed your hair: nope
-- Stolen anything: one time i stole a spoon from the bob evans restaurant
Ever . . .
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: i donnn't think soo
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: no
-- Been caught doing something?: stealing my sisters clothes, dancing/singing to myself...
-- Been called a tease: not to my face
-- Gotten beaten up: no, well actually my sister kind of attacked me yesterday
-- Shoplifted: yeah that spoon
-- Changed who you were to fit in: never
-- Age you hope to be married:hmm...when im ready. hopefully early in life.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: i don't really know. i think i want a loot though. but id have to be rich. or not. i don't know.
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: haven't really decided that yet
-- How do you want to die: haha i agree with lisa...whoever thought of this question...sicko
-- Where you want to go to college: in a biiig city full of life and culture, and far away from here
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: don't know
-- Country would you most like to visit: hmm maybe italy or greece, australia...something like that
In a guy/girl . . .
-- Best eye color: Blue
-- Best hair color: hmm dark brown
-- Short or long hair: a little shaggy
-- Height: yeah, taller than me
-- Best weight: muscular, but not tooo muscular. just toned. and they would feel reallly good if you hugged them.
-- Best articles of clothing: the classic clean cut look< i agree with leslie
-- Best first date location: something sweet but fun
-- Best first kiss location: hmm doesn't matter
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: yeah
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: what like including my family or just friends?? well just friends...3
-- Number of CDs that I own: ok i have like three cds...its sad...you can burn me one if you read this
-- Number of piercings: 2, annd im going to get my nose pierced...once i turn 18 (ooo rebellious)
-- Number of tattoos: none but i tell my mom that the minute i turn 18 im gonna get one...maybe i will
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspapers: hmm im also gonna go with a lot
ok, that was fun. i like answering questions about myself. alright well i must be off to work on the ib oral for Eng-lash. yeah, oh, and no one ever leaves comments if someone does a survey. leave me a comment damnit! i want one! Current Mood: ehhh, ok i guess
|Sunday, May 23rd, 2004|
ok this is my third time trying to write a decent entry.
i just want to fricken update.
but nothing i write comes out right.
i'm just bored.
and everything is so blah-ish.
i don't feel like doing anything but laying down and thinking of nothing.
ever have one of those days?
yeah so i am majorly procrastinating.
i need to work on my english presentation.
alright so i better go.
maybe tomorrow will be better.
friday was fun.
saturday was not.
today is turning out to be the same.
my legs are sore.
haha ok i find this kind of funny.
(that im just complaining and being stupid)
but its the way i feel damnit!
maybe im pmsing.
hmm, well don't want to end the entry on that...so
yeah i don't care, haha. bye. Current Mood: predatory
|Monday, May 17th, 2004|
haha well as i talked to laura about what i should do with my free time online i decided to go to cosmopolitan online and take some SEX quizzes...they were funny...haha
this is the sex and the city one...some of it is so not true...i exercise a lot more than that...but the married men...hmm they are kind of sexy...
You're most like Carrie
You're a passionate, expressive, theatrical chick who craves the thrill of roller-coaster relationships. Though you may have a lot of romance ups and downs, you're a rock-solid confidante, whom friends run to with their most intimate problems. Be just as good a friend to yourself the next time Mr. Wrong pulls a fast one, and it won't hurt half as much.
Your ultimate date: Sexy old boyfriend + trendy new restaurant
Your signature style: Eclectic glamazon
Your dream job: Journalist, TV writer for a drama series, actress
Your fave movie: The Way We Were
Your bible: Codependent No More
Your typical workout: Running to the dry cleaner's in stilettos
Your dating persona: Romantic drama queen
Your idea of foreplay: Make-out session in elevator/restaurant/hallway
Your classic crush: Toxic bachelor or married man
Your best love match: Tall, dark, handsome -- and won't stutter the word "commitment"
also by the way i am supposedly "coyly sexy"
Sensual and sweet, you'd rather spend an entire evening trading flirty innuendos with a guy over cappuccino and crème brûlée than just get down to the bump and grind back home (not that you don't enjoy that part, eventually!). As far as style goes, it's the bit of shoulder you show or the dangly earrings accenting your neck that make you feel foxy, not displaying a 12- by 12-inch square of stomach. "You're mysterious, feminine and love being a puzzle for men to figure out," says Regena Thomashauer, owner of Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts and author of Mama Gena's Owner's and Operator's Guide to Men. "It's not that you're necessarily shy about what you want; you simply relish teasing out each part of the seduction process."
haha i love these sexy quizzes. they make me feel sexy. and they're written so sexily. wooo i love sexiness. Current Mood: Sexy, agaaain
|Sunday, May 16th, 2004|
|YES, ME AND BRANDY PARKER ARE CRAZY MOFOS!
ok wellll from quickly goin through everyones new updates...haha...i can see that everyone had a really great weekend. well guess what....so did I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yeah, and as much as i love leaving semi-vague entries about my emotions i feel the urge to spill about all my fun filled events over the past two days. ahhhh, my weekend was just amazing...mostly yesterday...but ill get into that.
first came the secret fun stuff. then, post prom although overrated was quite fun. goood food, could get a tattoo from my mom, those pyschic ladies!!!!!, all the beautiful people, and my balloon ...i absolutely Loved my little mermaid balloon. it was sooo cool. and so then on the way home we sang disney songs and that was so much fun. yes, while everyone is out getting drunk and having sex after prom, i was in the car singing disney songs with my friends. haha
ok, so then yesterday. alright so everyone was going to the zoo and although no one thought to call us, because they thought we knew what time the train was leaving (NO WE DIDN'T STUPS, YOU DIDN'T TELL US), i finally called lisa and i had to hustle my bootay to get to the train station. well i picked up brandy and we thought we had about a minute to spare because the train was dinging so we walk over and it just leaves. then brandy gets a call and it was lisa. she was on the train and it just went by and she saw us... waiting outside. well me and brandy we're pretty bummed, pissed off, you know, jus a lil upset. so we waited in the car for a couple minutes being mad and trying to decide what to do. thennnnn....brandy said...."Wouldn't it be funny if we just drove to chicago and met them at the zoo" and naturally we went on about how we funny it would be and shizat like that. yeah so then we decided that we were being serious and we should just do it. drive to chicago. ok, i don't know about you, but this is a bigggggg step for us. first of all, I'm an inexperienced driver, i mean, i don't even know who has the right of way when you turn from Froberg onto Ransom road. I'VE ONLY HAD MY LICENSE FOR ONE FRICKEN MONTH!!!!! and so i was really nervous about the whole thing. so i was almost on empty, and we filled up my 89 volvo at the chesterton gas station. and we decided to do it. ahhhhh, it was sooo nervewrecking. ok so i got on to the expressway. first thing that happens is that i try to merge into the lane and a FREAKIN SEMI IS COMING CHARGING AT ME!!!! ok so thats the first time where i was like SHIIIIIIT!!!!!!! ok so we don't know where the hell we're going or where we're supposed to get off...brandy just wanted to wing it and ask for directions from the toll booth people.ok so the first toll booth person, i ask her where to go..."umm im not really sure. i don't know how to get to chicago" GREAT i was thinking...WE'RE GOING TO DIE!!!!!!! and then we got to the next booth, and the lady gave some vague advice, like 'stay on the skyway it will lead you to chicago" well she was nice but umm NO shit lady of course it leads to chicago. ok so by then i had already said a couple prayers to God because i was having a fricken panic attack in the car. haha i seriously think i was. and then...Hallelujah! Thank you God!!!...we see Betsy, Walt, Mike and Mary driving. Ok so then i was pretty much on they're butt following them, every single lane change...I was riiiight there. and so finally we got their number and called Betsy and told her we were following her and THEY WERE GOING TO THE ZOO TOO!!!!! ok, so yes, i followed them the absolute whole way. and me and brandy survived. and we drove to chicago. and then we spent a little time at the zoo with them and then we met up with everyone else. and it was a beautiful day. and the hippo was funny and the monkeys were cute and the lion was eating a huge slab of meat. and it was a beautiful day. and we went on a paddleboat in the lincoln park lagoon. and we saw beautiful brides taking pictures in the park. and it was suuuuch a good day. it was just sooo wonderful. and i loved the people i was with. so yes, it was very good. and just imagine if me and brandy hadn't have waited in the car or gotten gas for that certain amount of time, we would have never seen Betsy and all them. it was truly a gift from God. oooh and then, to top it all off...on the way home from Mary's, after i dropped brandy off, i heard "let's stay together", which is one of my absolute favorite songs.
ok and then...today...iiiiii made eye contact with........CHURCH BOY!!! yesss progress, progress. while i was carrying the cross before the preparation of the Eucharist, I walked down the side aisle and he always sits at the end. well he was looking at me and i usually just look away but this time, we locked eyes. i gave him a casual glance that said 'look at me, i'm innocent and pure, yet sexy' type of look. wooooo! next step...eye contact WITH a seductive smile. Current Mood: rejuvenated
|Monday, May 10th, 2004|
|this ones a quickie
aiight so today my chest itched so bad. it seemed like i was scratching my boob all day but i really wasn't. i think i got sun poison on the northwest and northeast sides of my boobs. (in other words, my bathing suite line). yeah but it itched bad today and by the end of the day i was just rubbing them down cuz i needed to relieve myself from the itchness. yeah, its true. lisa saw me.
another thing about my boobs. they have most definately shrunk since the last time i checked. i hate what running does to my poor little boobs. they'll be a bursting B during the winter and then barely squeezable during the summer, the time when they're shown off the most!
one time, i saw this shirt at Urban outfitters and it had two oranges where your boobs are and it said 'Florida's Fresh Oranges Squeeze me" and i liked it. i wanted to get it. lisa also thought that was disgusting. well you know what, i think i would very much like someone to squeeze my oranges, they'd just have to have gentle hands, a sexy face, and a hot body.
but you know what. i still like them. its like that shakira song 'even though my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them, with mountains.' alright so it doesn't make much sense, but i think she what she was trying to get at was that she liked her small boobs and was proud of them. well you know what girl, so am I!!!!!!! (although i do try to increase the bustiness whenver possible)
alright well this was pretty much a spaz entry and i wrote it in about five minutes. soooooooo...
oh yeah, the reason i wrote naughty for my mood or whatever was because i wore this little lace tank top thing today and got in trouble. so i felt naughty. no not really but i also do like the word naughty. and i loove the beyonce song naughty girl. Current Mood: naughty
|Friday, May 7th, 2004|
ok so its 5 40. yeah...the end of school day. pretty bad. horribly bad. i just felt humiliated and angry and stupid in so many ways. i felt cheated and tricked. and stupid. stupid for having to talk about it with everyone. stupid for making it such a big deal. stupid for fighting with people. stupid for having people see me crying. i always say that im an emotional person. like for example i cry my eyes out at sad movies. but i can also be very vocal about my anger. and so i was today after school. and whenever im like that, im just pretty much an emotional wreck afterwards. and i don't think theres really any solution to this problem. so its frustrating when everyone thinks that they're right and no one comes to a conclusion about things. you just have to forgive and forget. and so i was really, really upset today for the end of the day. and i felt horrible, stupid, pathetic, mean, confused, hopeless, i guess. but then i talked it all out with definately one of the best and most comforting person to go to. and i felt better. and i drank some hot chocolate with whipped cream. and ate a good bagel with corned beef. and after all that emotional drainage, i felt so much better. and i feel so much better now. and so i got in the car and i tried to change the station. but everything was on commercial. so i turned it to light fm (93.9) and this song came on. i swear it was a message from God. i seriously believe in miracles like this all the time. and so the part of the song that i heard went like this (i looked it up)
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carryin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside
haha well the middle two lines really don't apply but the rest of it totally did. and so that was completely not a coincidence, i think. i think God intended for me to hear that song, as cheesy as it may sound. it always seems like whenever there is some situation that really bothers me, i always turn the radio to a song with words that i can totally relate to. ahh, its just a small, but significant miracle, i think. yeah, so thats how i feel now. i'm a lot better. ohh, what a day so far.
|Monday, May 3rd, 2004|
i just got back from running to brandy's. it was fun. i actually do love running, ive decided. i just love running on the roads outside, especially by myself. i don't really know why though. so then i ran pretty fast just to show myself i could do it, and i did. then i met lisa at brandy's house and we talked. and i really loved that too. we talked about new and exciting things and we talked about stupid and annoying things and we talked about funny things. and we sat in the grass. and it was fun. i really enjoyed that. so now i get home...decided to finallly write in livejournal and i just feel really calm. things aren't working out as planned, im drowning in makeup work from all the days of school ive missed, and running (competitively) just isn't goin well. but i guess it will all be worked out. i'm happy, but im unsatisfied. im busy, but im bored. i guess thats life though. i love hearing when good things happen to good people. it makes me really happy... but on the other hand...why the hell isn't it happening to me?! yeah, i know thats really selfish. yeah...
well yesterday we went to visit my cousin who just had a baby three months ago. he was so cute. but i didn't want to hold him and then my mom plopped him on me and he started to cry after creepily staring at my hair for 30 seconds. I TOLD HER I DIDN'T WANT TO HOLD IT!!! yeah so that was fun, just seeing my dad's side of the family. we usually don't see them that much. its kinda the side of the family that we neglect. but they're hilarious!!!! my uncle and especially my aunt are pretty much different versions of my dad and he is pre-tty freak-in funny. so i just laughed the whole time and tried to do my homework but not much accomplished there.
oh, and i feel bad because im just so fricken tired all the time. i seriously think the weekends are the time when my body just absolutely crashes. i feel like im no fun. and thats no fun. i especially realized this when i went with lisa to go shopping and all i did was sit in a chair and then i slept at her house for two hours. yeah, im no fun.
alright so today was actually a good day. i've been taking a lot of 'mental health days' lately though. probably cuz im goin cuh-razy from stress but i think im alright, cuz im calm now. see, it did me good. yeah so anyways, i watched oprah annnd brad pitt was on. and talk about 40 year old being sexxy. he was. and i also cleaned my room, did laundry, and worked on homework and college stuff so i felt very accomplished today. (if that makes sense?)...i felt like i accomplished a lot today. (yeah thats better)
and also. i can't wait for summer. i think im going to die this month. because i can't wait for summer.
and so the first thing i did today when i got the new seventeen magazine was look at the horoscopes because ive been dying to get a good horoscope. like one that says "wooo hooo you go girl because you gots all the boys following you this month" yeah well it was like that so i was like yeahhhhh. but really, thats just sad and pathetic. haha. ok so im going to take a break from boy craziness and not mention my hunger for manmeat any more. if i do, slap me....damnit, i'll probably be slapped a lot.
alright, well this has been really kind of random and long but it was everything that i was randomly thinking in my head. annd...im done. Current Mood: calm
|Saturday, April 24th, 2004|
yeah this entry won't be good because im pretty much PISSED AT THE WORLD right now. i did have fun making up the mood and song though. ha. im cool. although i have talked to lisa and i feel a lot better getting everything out. i think ill still type it though. i'll regret this entry later, yes. but oh well. im actually not going to get into it in detail. key phrases will do. first ill start with last night...
trying to act cool... stupid! tired, hungry, couldn't get gas. annoyed with parents. woke up late. almost missed the bus. sitting with sabrina. seat smelled like puke. complaining. people being mean. reject race. burnt. following me, annoying..., drama. excluding. got home. hungry. annoyed with parent. baaaaad mood.
yeah so i kind of like it better like that in key phrases. it kind of makes it seem like its actually not that much. it takes a lot for me to get out of a bad mood though. Current Mood: Angry, annoyed, fricken pissed
|Thursday, April 22nd, 2004|
haha wow. i just tried to comment in about three people's journals. but im just having an off day. can't think of anything to say. so eventually after typing a few words and then erasing a couple times i decided not to comment but rather...update! well first off i just wanted to add that i verrry much enjoyed the manhunt, although there were absolutely no sexy men at the mall. which is really odd because you can always count on getting hit on by at least some nasty older guys there. i especially enjoyed the craziness in the car on the way back. anyways i also had a good conversation with brandy a little while ago about sexxxy boys. it was fun. ive decided to wait about three weeks until my schedule clears up. for boys that is. im just too damn busy right now!!! ohh my gosh. ok.
well today was actually not that bad. yes, the half day on thursday was stupid. yes, it kinda sucked that i didn't get to go out with my friends or to lunch after school and have to do stupid 600s instead. it actually pretty much shot my day. but it was still good. i feel stressed but not really. i have so much to do and im not really doing it, but i guess im getting it done. so after the track workout i felt really good. i did it all. and i was consistent and the last one is usually my best which leaves me with a sense of accomplishment. so then i went home and slept. and it feels good to be healthy and rested. and then i went to go give a blanket to my sister because she was freezing her butt off at the middle school track meet, and i stayed to pick her up. and while i was waiting in the car (for about 45 fricken minutes)i think the topic of our next english writing assignment came to my head. to describe of some sort of journey. and so i came to this realization, kind of.
so i was sitting in the car listening to power 92. and in my rearview mirror i could see the middle school girls running around the track. and in front of me i could see the men playing golf in Golfview. and i really just can't express this eloquently enough because my words aren't doing justice to what i felt. but it was kind of like...this is me. this is my life. i've already done so much. middle school is behind me. i was once there, in that akward stage but here i am right now. in valparaiso, in. looking at the men playing golf on this little golf course in this quaint little town. and then a flood of memories came to me. and i started to cry a little. not just memories from this past year or two. but memories of everything. and i looked at my life as a whole for probably the first time ever. and i guess i was just kind of amazed. i live day by day so much that even if i reminisce about past memories, i never think about all of them at once. and so i guess i feel stupid for writing this because it seems like such an obvious thought, but there was just something more meaningful to it. and although i really can't quite describe it perfectly it made perfect sense at the time. Current Mood: accomplished